How to Deal with Put Downs within a Work Environment

Have you ever been in a situation where you have felt like you have been undermined or patronised?

Put downs is a tricky subject, especially if the person that has directed the put down to you is of a higher authority than yourself. When put in this situation you may feel that you don’t have the right to stand up for yourself in fear of losing your job, and you might see it as there’s no need to retaliate.

Personally, I’ve luckily never had to deal with a put down within a work environment. Thinking about it, I would probably choose to avoid the comment and not respond back as I am guilty of not dealing with conflict in the correct way. I would much rather sit in hope that the situation would eventually slide away, rather than face a conflict head on in the appropriate manner.

Put down’s usually tend to have a hidden meaning, as there’s no need for them, and therefore no reason for the situation to occur in the first place. 

If you are experiencing this type of behaviour, you should definitely try to NOT use any of these attitudes:

·         Ignoring

·         Sarcasm

·         Blaming

·         Dismissing

·         Patronizing

Not using any of these attitudes can be seen as very difficult when you’re put in the situation of feeling undermined by a colleague. I know I would find it very difficult to not use any of these.

So you may be thinking, what happens then when you’re presented with a put down by a colleague? 

After learning about put downs, and how they can be handled positively, I believe that dealing with put downs are most effective when you:

·         Remain calm

·         Come across as assertive

·         Stand up for yourself

This way, you are able to put your opinion across without reacting negatively, and just being as bad as the other party that’s involved. Win win situation, I would say! J

Theorists Fisher and Shapiro devised the five core concerns that relate to the workplace. They suggest that when presented with a negative situation such as put downs, you should aim to address the concern, and not the emotion. These concerns are:

·         Appreciation (Feeling that you are a valued employee)

·         Affiliation (Feeling that you are treated correctly as an employee)

·         Autonomy (Feeling that you’re able to express your opinion)

·         Status (Feeling that your role within the company is respected)

·         Role (Feeling happy and fulfilled with your job)

These concerns can definitely be taken into consideration when dealing with put downs. For instance, if you feel threatened don’t react straight away in the heat of the moment. Instead, take a step back and ask yourself which of your core concerns feels threatened within this situation, and once you have decided and have had time to think, you are able to respond back positively. This then should result in a successful interaction.

Do you think this has helped you with your experiences of put downs?

The Negotiation of Relocation within the Workplace: How will it Benefit You?

Imagine this: You are comfortable in your current job role. You feel like you have a strong relationship with all of your colleagues, and that you work productively together. What if your managing director turned round to you and said that he would like to relocate you to another branch?

How would you react?

Will you react badly and suggest that you work well with your current team, and that you don’t think it’s fair to have to move?

Or will you take it as a business opportunity that will enable you to progress further within your career?

Whatever your response may be, the conversation can be controlled by listening to each other.

You’re more likely to get the result you want to gain out of the conversation if you are:      

·         Assertive

·         Calm

·         Rational

And most importantly, listen to what the other person has to say without jumping straight to conclusions.

I have to say that I’m quite bad at jumping to conclusions in certain situations. I’ve learned recently that it is most definitely more beneficial for both parties if you actually listen to what the other person has to say, rather than jumping in and saying what you think without actually thinking through what it is that you are going to say. This way the conversation will be worthwhile for both parties that are involved.

When presented with a conversation like this that what’s everyone wants isn’t it? – a successful conversation?

So before jumping to conclusions and perhaps thinking that ‘it’s not fair’ that you have to relocate, think about the benefits that could be in store for you. Make sure you bargain with your managing director to make sure you get the most out of the move. The move might be seen as a ‘bit of a hassle’ to you at the time, but you never know it could perhaps push you towards bigger and better things, which can include:

·         Pay rise

·         Advancing your position with the company

·         Meeting new people

So, before jumping to conclusions when asked to relocate think of the options and benefits that are in store for you. Think of what you want to gain from the conversation, and what you would like the outcome to be.

Also, remember that your managing director wouldn’t have asked you if they didn’t think you were suited to the position. So, think of it as a compliment! :)

What is Conflict, and How does it Happen?

Would you say you love conflict or you hate conflict?

Either way, conflict pops up in everyday situations in some way or another, so you can never steer clear from it for too long. Conflict can occur in many situations and tends to develop from the differing of opinions and behaviours. Whatever opinion you may or may not have on conflict, the occurrence of conflict can be seen as both a positive and negative outcome.

This could be said as for instance in a work scenario, conflict can be seen as a constructive force with positive outcomes. Some of the types of situations where conflict can present itself within a work environment could be from the likes of structural and cultural changes or a dispute between individuals, groups or departments. Although, on the surface these situations may seem undesired for the team, these types of disagreements within the likes of a work environment can result in positive outcomes.  These outcomes could include better ideas being produced from the team, and the search for new approaches could arise. It could be interesting to note that with all problems being brought to the surface, it could allow a fresh start for all members of the team which could result in more of a positive and happier environment.

However, the impact of conflict can sometimes have negative side effects. For example, a disagreement between you and a partner, or a friend, can result in uncomfortable circumstances, which could lead to the cause of negative outcomes for that particular relationship. These side effects can include the creation of distance between people, can increase the levels of mistrust and it can also lead to people feeling demeaned and defeated.  Therefore, these types of outcomes could put a strain upon the relationship, which could perhaps lead to the relationship not being as strong as it was in the beginning.

As you can see, conflict itself can’t be a labelled as a positive or negative situation. It all boils down to the type of situation that conflict occurred within in order to judge if the act of conflict was beneficial.

Personally, I tend to shy away from conflict, in the hope that it'll sweep itself under the carpet. However, I have learned that that conflict is an inenvitable in everyday life, and cannot be avoided. I think conflict can be effective when it is handled in the correct manner.

Has your opinion of conflict knowing now that it has both positive and negative outcomes, and that it isn’t necessarily a good or a bad occurrence?